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I think, in terms of the self-flagellation... It is self-obsession. Unless those thoughts turn into change that make you into the person you would be very happy to be, then it's very masturbatory. There's no room to observe and watch and be delighted and amused by others; it's just all
self.
Sarah Silverman
Unless It Catalyzes Improvement, Self-Flagellation Is Masturbatory
#563: Sarah Silverman How to Be Your Own Best Friend, Lessons from Therapy, and Grabbing Joy Where You Can Get It
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